Saturday, 5 January 2013

Love, Peace & Hope

Well it is the 5th day of 2013 already and this is my first post of the year.  Even the hubster commented on when last I posted ..... I didn't know he cared ;-)

This is going to be a bit of a The Good, The Bad and The Ugly post (not a round up mind you) so with that in mind lets start off with The Ugly shall we.

I have been fighting with myself, it is horrid and I hate it. I am not one who likes confrontation, in fact I will avoid it at all costs, and when its with yourself in your own head, and its loud, let me tell you it is hard to run away from yourself!  So why the fighting? Well the only thing I asked of myself over this festive season was to stick to my running plan so I could stay on track for my marathon training.  I was letting myself off of healthy eating for the whole period - yeah you read right ... I told myself I could eat as much junk and cr@p as I liked and I did.  But the ongoing battle in my head to get my a$$ out of bed and go for a run has been unbelievable, I would not have thought it possible to be SUCH a monumentally HUGE procrastinator, sometimes putting a run off for days that it wasn't even putting it off it just became the next run on the log!
AGH, I could go on and on and on and on about this but it would bore you all silly so I will stop here.

Each day is a fresh start and I used today to do this:

Giving up is NOT an option!

The Bad:
I gained weight, I knew I would.  I know what to do about it and healthy eating will resume post hast; no doubt it will be a slight struggle getting over the sugar and wheat cravings but I will get there soon enough.
This wet rainy weather and constant soggy ground thing that is plaguing us in England is doing my head in.  I love England and the seasons but right now I could do with it either being hot or cold, snap out of it weather man .... YES I'm talking to you!

The Good:
We have had a very festive Christmas and New Year.  There has been great family time and friends time both near and far and it has gone a long way to restoring my faith in my life and purpose.
I've realised that I cannot change how things happen in the world but how I react to things that happen and also make my own things happen.  You may read this as a contradiction to what I said above in The Ugly but it's all been that head fighting thing that has made me realise this.
I'm still loving knitting.

2013 for me:
I will run and complete, to the best of my ability, the Virgin London Marathon.
I will loose the remainder of my weight and get to and stay at a happy place.
I will make an effort to keep family & friends near and far close.
I will love and cherish my children each and every day.

I have a few things planned in my head for 2013 but I want to be sure of them before I tell you about them ... ooooh mystery & suspense ;-).