Friday, 4 February 2011

Pathetically Pitiful

Where do you draw the line on self pity, how do you deal with it?

It never ceases to amaze me how I'll be fine for so long, everything pootles along very nicely and I'm in control of what I'm eating, my exercise, my body is MINE and it looks like there is nothing that I can't do and the world is my oyster. Why can't my mind remain constant, why does it have to be all or nothing. At the beginning of the week I wrote this (but not posted it yet):

“Been getting over the quandary that was my Mondays food crash - not quuuiiiiite like the 2008 stock market crash but a crash non the less :-)  And then Tuesday I dragged myself outta bed and practically forced myself to do a kettlebell secession and sadly did not feel any better for it.  I also had a burning hunger in my stomach all day Tuesday, real hunger pangs even an hour after eating (balanced with chicken, veg & rice).  I see no reason to fight it, I don't want to get ill because my body needed a bit  extra and I denied it.  Then Wednesday rolls around and I have a small appetite, feel thick headed and a bit snotty ..... it all makes sense, or does it!!!????

OK, so I had a cracker body pump secession this morning* and hoping I'm over this whole not feeling positive, feeling hungry, need to get motivated thing.  In an email to a mate I said "I hate it when I loose motivation but it happens, clearly I can't be upbeat and positive ALL the time so need to deal with it and move on" ...... unfortunately it's the "moving on" part thats difficult and sometimes it takes longer than other times ..... I could do without it quite frankly so anyone got a solution, or a spell more like it?????”
*Thursday

I'm still not sure what started this all but I think the emotional trigger has been loosing my tooth/crown on Thursday. My own stupid fault and I was eating something I shouldn't have been. The whole week seems like it has been thwart with food I shouldn't have been consuming in quantiles akin to elephant fodder.

***** 
Self-pity or "feeling sorry for oneself" is the psychological state of mind of an individual in perceived adverse situations who has not accepted the situation and does not have the confidence nor ability to cope with it. It is characterized by a person's belief that he or she is the victim of events and is therefore deserving of condolence. Self-pity is generally regarded as a negative emotion in that it does not generally help deal with adverse situations. 
*****

…. ”does not have the confidence nor ability to cope with it” now I KNOW I have the confidence and ability to deal with it but to be honest, right now I don't want to, if that makes sense. So why on earth am I sitting here typing up that I WANT to feel sorry for myself, honestly I even read my horoscope (yes seriously) for an explanation on why I'm feeling like I am, I still have no answers.

Do I have an explanation, hell no!
How am I going to deal with it, I don't have a clue!
How can you help?

Weeeeeeeeel …... someone stop the world, I need to get back on!

2 comments:

  1. Aw, every now and then you need a break anyway- don't be too hard on yourself. Body pump was only yesterday! You are allowed a rest day. So draw a line and start again tomorrow, (or later tonight if you feel like it )
    :)

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  2. Step off the merrygoround for a while. If I feel like you do, I am either a) hormonal, b) over-tired, or c) ill. Sometimes it's something external, like a stressful event at work or whatever. But I'm assuming you've ruled that out..

    You were asking recently about taking rest. It's obviously something you're thinking you might need, at some point soon... Seriously take a week off from it all. A week will mean feck all in the grander scheme of things Lara. What will have an impact though is running yourself into the ground, mentally, emotionally and physically. It's probably nothing more than you just needing a step-down week. Take one :-)

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Thank you for your comments, I read & digest them all :-)