Wednesday, 17 November 2010

Remorse

.... I have it BIG TIME today.  Yesterday was an absolute abomination as far as food was concerned and if I'm not mistaken my calorific summary for the day (conservatively) would look like this:


Calorie Summary:

Daily Cal Quota: 1688
+ Exercise Cals: 91
Total Cal Quota: 1779
Calories Consumed: 3093
Calories Left: -1314
Cals to Maintain Weight: 2188

The math in that equation makes for very sad reading.  But I'm over it today, well no ..... not really, more like fighting the urge to carry on from every angle imaginable.

How did this happen? 
When did I let go or loose sight of being healthy? 
What happened to "treating my body like a temple"?????

So today I have kept myself busy.  It was bootcamp first thing in the morning, school run after that, and then I skipped the office and headed straight upstairs to start building little Mr-4-year-olds new big boy bed, you gotta love flatpack.  Bed is from BedRoomWorld

From This .....

To This, in 2.5 hours :-)

The mattress ...... and YES ........... it was rolled up vacuum pack style and as flat as a pancake!



 What you can't see is a very pleased little boy :-)

So now I've totally deviated from my shame I think I have an answer to my questions above ...... and the short answer is, I honestly do not know but will let you know when I find out.  If anyone has any ideas, please share.

Today I am proud of my bed building achievement.

laraxx



2 comments:

  1. "How did this happen?
    When did I let go or loose sight of being healthy?
    What happened to "treating my body like a temple"?????"

    This is only my personal opinion, but I would say that the problem is that you *started* trying to treat your body like a temple in the first place!

    Ok, so perhaps that is a bit strong. But the temple metaphor is no accident. And I don't like it. It implies bowing down at the alter of healthy eating and exercise, and it can eventually lead people to becoming ascetic and abstemious. Someitmes even puritanical. I'm not saying that's what's happened to you (definitely not -- you still eat cake! Atta girl!). But my point is that thinking in those terms might be leading to an approach of self-denial and reproachment. The backlash? A binge.

    The other thing to remember is that you've been ill, and haven't been able to exercise. Is it possible you've been overcompensating for that by being overly strict with food? For starters, you need a little bit more fuel to fight off illness. And even if you've been getting enough calories, psychologically the self-imposed discipline might have just become too much.

    Sorry, playing at pop psychology there. But I'm familiar with the "what happened, I was being so good" remorse. And it's usually because I was being *too* good.

    Hope you feel better today anyway. And good bed-building skilz! ;-)

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  2. Alison, an interesting spin you put on the body temple metaphor, I did have it in my head as a treat the body with respect as its the only one I have view but can't discount the possibility that in doing so I have ventured towards deprivation of certain foods which with my current health has caused both body and mind into a total reverse and binge. I need to also remember to live a little :-)
    As of yesterday I have consciously hovered on maintenance calories with a view to getting better first without anymore binges.
    Thanks hun.

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